The Master Builder



What is keeping me from building a creative practice that grows wild and steadily and purposefully? Why do I come back around to point zero and feel like I´m constantly starting over?

Taking a moment to name the piece that holds it all together.



Last night I watched The Lego Movie again.

What I was able to hear this time that didn’t resonate with me before was:

You have to believe that you are the Special One.


And: that everyone is the special one but everyone has to believe it. And: that you have to find what’s special about you - not do what the others are doing or wait for someone to tell you an idea and how exactly to do it. You are the Master Builder in your special kind of way. And that is what the world and the people around you need.

I am writing this from a place of maybe for the first time knowing that this is true. That the key to you is believing in you.


The key to you is believing in you

I remember now another movie I watched years ago in the movie theater - The Polar Express. With Tom Hanks lending his voice to one of the animated characters, the Polar Express Conductor. The story follows a little boy who can’t hear the sound of the Christmas bell anymore. And all they tell him is, you have to believe! While the boy managed to believe by the end of the movie and hear the sweet tones of the little golden bell, I left the theater noticing how I just couldn’t believe that it was all about this believing. Maybe I noticed a sort of anger deep inside that I couldn’t even touch with my thoughts. I just felt a big hollow gap where that believing should be - even though I was all about following my heart and faith and finding meaning.


Follow your heart to the ends of the world

I am aware today that with all the capacity for magic that I possess, there is equal amounts of doubt inside of me. Sort of for every sparkling idea a heavy and shadowy counterpart. For every spark a foot to stomp it out.

And around in circles I have spent my years pursuing new ideas and facing dead ends because of self doubt. Like a magical labyrinth I have been trapped in where the walls keep changing and my energy runs out again and again.

So, what has changed to bring me to this place where my ears are opened and I hear that bright soft sound?


Enter the cave that holds the treasure

I think what happened was, I descended into that big shadowy gap. For me, I found loneliness and pain there. My loneliness and my pain. When I found my loneliness I felt great fear; when I found my pain I felt great anger. I picked them up and had to hold them tight in my arms so they wouldn’t slip back down and I climbed up out of the gap.

The gap no longer having to hold these disturbing hindering masses was/is able to close.

I hold these heavy weights now and won’t let go. In one arm my loneliness, in the other my pain. And who is holding them?


Me.


And in the holding them I am grounded and rooting deeper into me. Their weight works in my favour. I have weight now. I = matter. I matter.

Now I see me. Now I can be seen.

I am here in place of that gap and I believe that I have meaning and the meaning is not outside of me. I am going to make sure I keep believing.

I am the Special One.


The road back to you

This is my starting point for creating. For making and writing. For thinking and deciding. For interacting. My filter for all the ideas and opportunities roaming my headspace, the compass for my path. I matter. And you matter.


︎

I compose calm and storyful piano music from this place. This is where we connect. We flow with the creating (making, thinking, giving, writing, doing) process to timelessness and back. Let me support you here with my album repose. ︎ Buy + instantly download




︎
Send me your comment - thank you.







About me

Music and Art have been my passions for as long as I can think. When I first told myself what I would become when I grew up, I said: a writer. So I studied classical piano (10 years), creative writing (2 years) and ran a small business where I screen printed drawings on used porcelain dishware (3 years).

I am always curious about new creating endeavors, so I learn(ed) and practice to work with graphic design, ceramics, colorpencil, interior decoration and my own piano composition.

As an intuitive and feeling person, I am always interested in knowing myself, the world and others in a deeper way. Mindfulness, self discovery and personal growth spark the joy of creation for me: There is a story we get to tell with our own lives, and I want it to be the truest one I can make.

You matter. Walk your own path.




Berlin, 12.October 2021




. Jasmin Seidl 2021.. All rights reserved. .